Who wants to marry the artist? Who does the artist want to marry? Knowing one can't curb another's adventurous spirit. I've been through two great relationships, which means there's been two breakups. I've related each loss with some aspect of other inspirational beings, however realize that it's only through knowing those, and how they too must understand this, that I become more comfortable with my feelings. (Hence inspired to walk away from limiting demeanor.) I don’t want my commitment of attaining dreams to be void of a partner. I live in good ol American freedom: choice of love, psyche, and movement. I love growth & commitment, my spirit requires such. But I’ve loved men who wouldn’t support it. They want me to change, move less, dream smaller…and for a while I tried- What a shitty feeling that was, to disengage from my ability to pursue utmost desire.
My friends are strong. My family supports me. I cannot commit to sedentary ways. I am loyal, willful and capable to be the best that I know, and this can be a lonely state. I want to inspire people to be great, do greater, and live as the greatest being they can imagine. I want to be recognized as a leader, although the disadvantage is having fewer companions who share similar psyches.
This is my mad reasoning. I live presently, with goals and ambition. I seek structure in my systems, as they assist my rhetoric. I communicate through example and have been misunderstood as egodystonic. I am saddened, yet grateful, b/c I know life is a choice, and my mind, body and spirit choose to be com/passionately strong.
Stretching is not easy, nor going any extreme distance. Pressing boundaries is a way of life, an endless pursuit. This is what maddens some. The constant humming of ones own drive. The insult taken from others who say “can’t you just stop?” I live with this; as men think they could love me- and the select few I've loved back, later resent my tactics. I am only 27- ought I really slow down? Does age have anything to do with the pursuit of living?
Breath inspires, expires and pauses in between. It is a choice in how to breathe, although not all acknowledge such, and blame, excuse, and abuse this utmost force. I honor the quality of breath, water, internal fire and organic matter. I respect it so, that I wish to grow as a conscious, healthy, and invoking being.
“You’re hard-core.” “You spend too much time doing that!” I’ve heard men say they love me for my abilities, and then later, want to restrain them. Is this what the mad hatter must live with? Is this why professional artists, athletes, scholars, pursuers of discipline are single? Especially women? The glamorous package comes with the cost of acceptance. Co-creating drive, commitment and beliefs are what unify two people. I do not wish to change anyone. This is what defines unconditional love.